No What!
by SkyeDrgn
Summary: This is a prompt from the puckrachel drabble meme that kinda exploded into my brain.  Puck tries make Rachel, but it backfires on him!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is from a prompt I found on the p/r drabble meme and couldn't resist it. This is also for my girl EJ! Go read her stuff! SapphireEJ on here!**

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Puck loves their new friendship, he feels like he can tell Rachel anything at anytime. He could blurt out anything and because she knows him so well it will just roll off her back. She knows he is rude, crude and socially unacceptable but she likes to hang anyway.

He finds her one day in the the Glee room looking through music of course and pops a squat down next to her on the floor.

"Hey Berrylicious"

"Yes Noah?" she says still looking through her music. Not even looking over at him.

That kind of ticks him off. Doesn't she know who he is. He is the biggest stud on campus, and even if she doesn't want to get up on this she should at least acknowledge him. He thinks its time to see how far he can push her. How much he can make her blush, coz babe is totally smokin' hot already and she has his favorite tiny black skirt on and the pink sweater thing that he loves too.

"Hey B, we talk? Like for real?"

"Yes Noah, I believe that is what we ARE doing. We really are talking."

"No, I mean like about about serious shit."

"Sure, why not Noah. What do you want to discuss"

"I really miss blow jobs..."

"Well that was an interesting segue into a conversation." she says not even missing a beat.

"Seg-what? No I mean for real it was the best part of having a fuck buddy like Satan and shit. Now she is with Brit she ain't to hip with the guys."

"So, what was the best thing about receiving oral pleasure for you Noah?" She said still sorting through her music not flustered at all.

"You know when a chick is on her knees in front you and you are standing up, and she wraps her red lips around the head and runs her tongue along the underside of my shaft and I can see her perky tits and look into her wide eyes while she is doing it. Then she takes me as far into her warm mouth as she can before she gags then slowly pulls me back out." He says and he feels a sudden tightening as he pictures Rachel doing just that.

Just then she looks up at the clock and notices there is 5 minutes till the bell and starts cleaning up her mess. She gets her stuff all packed away and stands.

"I guess Noah, that means you have been picking the wrong girls, and that Ms. Pillsbury was right."

"Right about what B?"

"Oh she simply said I was lucky and that having no gag reflex was going to come in very handy someday." she said demurely and glanced over her shoulder at him as she walked out the door.

"Uhhhh...No WHAT! Wait up a minute B!" He scrambles out of his chair shocked by her bluntness as he tried to catch up with her to continue the conversation.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: The Bolded text implies text messaging.**

**AN2: I do not own Glee...if I did my friends would be writing it instead of RIB...  
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Damn freaking little midget, he swears that girl is half fucking ninja. He got out to the hallway and poof she was gone. How was she going to say what she said and then disappear, fuck his life and it was friday too. He wouldn't see her again til monday if he didn't track her down while they were still at school. This was freakishly fucked up.

He whipped out his cell and texts her

**Shit B where did you run off to so fast?-**N.P.

**Honestly Noah I had to get to my locker and lunch. Was there something else you needed from me? :o) -**R.B.*

**You can't tell a guy that shit and then just run off B...**-N.P.

**A guy? Was there a guy there Noah? I just saw you. **-R.B*

**B you know that I am all man. -**N.P.

**Yes, Noah I know that you are a male. But I also listened to you when you explained your rules of friendship to me. -**R.B.*

**Babe I don't think they apply here. **-N.P.

**How don't they Noah? I am your friend. Your first rule of friendship is that friends lose their sex when becoming friends. Rule number 2 is friends don't kiss, and rule number 3 is friends don't sex or give each other oral. All of which is why we weren't friends before.**-R.B.*

**Get to class Noah and stay out of trouble! **-R.B*

He walks into the lunchroom and spots his target. He goes and grabs his lunches(what he's a growing guy and he works out) and moves in for the kill. He doesn't think she has noticed him when she says.

"I suppose you are going to sit here aren't you Noah?"

"That was the plan babe. You want me to sit somewhere else?"

"No, you may sit, but I warn you sitting near me is going to wreak havoc on your popularity I fear. Now do you want my undivided attention or may I read my book in peace?" She said why a sigh and a grin, knowing what he wanted to talk about.

"Baby, I always demand everybody's attention, you know that B. And why would I fear about my popularity? Everybody knows I'm the shit B...'cept you it seems. Now B why is that? And while we are talking about not getting shit straight. Why didn't you say anything about you know what while we were dating babe? I woulda tried harder to stick around and see that I was the man and not Sir Douche-a-lot."

"Noah, it hardly matters now, does it? Besides we were barely dating for more than a week, and now were are friends and its hardly appropriate conversation for us to have now. Besides I am currently single Noah and that would be only information a future boyfriend would be able to use. But you can let the guys know I am currently holding auditions for potential male leads. Just please don't divulge the bit about the gag reflex. I am still not quite sure about the logistics of it all."

"Baby, I got your logistics right here." he said motioning to his crotch.

"Noah you said it yourself, we are friends. Though I hear Sam is available now. I wonder if he would be interested. I think I will ask him after Glee today."

"Awwwh B is that how its gonna be now? You leave me hangin' like that? We are friends and shit...but we could be friends with benefits and shit."

"How Noah? You told me that I lost my sex when we became friends. And I honestly need you as my friend now more than a whatever. Plus I want a boyfriend, and friends even with benefits aren't boyfriends."

"Hey B, I just thought of something..."

Sighing she said "What Noah?" Exasperatedly.

"That mean you never gave head to the idiot over there?"

"You would be correct in that assumption Noah. But can we drop the subject. This is not the time nor place for it, and that time has passed Noah. Now if you will excuse I have to get ready for my next class and I need to think about what I am going to talk to Sam about." She says getting up and gathering her things and making her way to the door.

"Hey babe wait up got a question I need to ask you, and I think its one only you can answer." He said jogging after her into the hallway.

"Its not about the gag reflex thing again is it Noah?"

He smirked.

"Nah B, its not but its something I want to keep on the dl."

"DL? Sorry not following."

"Down low babe. I don't want everyone to know about me asking about, coz this shit might just hurt my rep."

"And what shhh...Stuff might that be Noah?"

"Hah I almost got you to say shit. Too funny. No but serious you can't tell anyone what I am about to ask you. I mean this is what I have you as a friend for...to talk about the feelings type of shit anyway. Not sure what you get out of it... since you won't talk about sex. Which is of course is the Puckerone's speciality." He said noticing where they were, taking her by the shoulders and guiding her into the janitors closet so nobody could over hear them.

"Why are we exactly in the supply closet Noah? I promise that I will not say anything you say to me to anyone else." She said her heart racing.

"Good, coz this shit is serious. Now don't laugh. But I need to ask you if I was a good boyfriend? When we were together."

"Oh Noah, is that what all this is about? I am not sure I am the best one to say it or not, but from our short time together, yes you were a wonderful and attentive boyfriend. You were there for me and never tried to put me down or push me into anything that I wasn't ready for. Though with my track record I don't think I will be winning any prizes for girlfriend of the year awards anytime soon."

"Nah B you were great, to me and Finn...well he wasn't the right one for you and don't even get me started on St. Jackass who was to stuck on himself to see what he had. No babe you know what all your break ups had in common...me babe. Well except that first one with Finn even then...No wait a minute babe." holding up his hand in a stop motion. "Listen to me for a sec. The first break-up with Finn yeah is on him, but really he was just jealous with the lack of play he had gotten and the amount of play I have always had. Your break with St. D-Bag wasn't totally on me but you also can't lay blame totally on Finn. If I had had my way babe you woulda been on your back layed out bare assed nekkid the way god intended the night you asked me over, but you resisted. And trust me NO ONE resists the Puck. The next break-up, yeah that one is all on me. I took advantage of you. I had heard thru the phone tree what had happened and came to find you, know damn good and well that even though you claimed to hate me most of the time. I know you have a soft spot for me and that it hurt you when you broke up with me last year and I told you we weren't friends before, but I didn't mean that we couldn't be friends at all. It just had me butt sore for a few days after you broke up with me. The reason I left that day and didn't have sex with you babe wasn't because Finn at all... I knew without a doubt that you would have hate yourself if you slept with me and it meant nothing. I also knew that you would feel guilty over even kissing me and so I waited, for you to tell Finn and him to break up with you. Hoping that you would come to senses and see how much I really wanted you. But you didn't, so I turned to Lauren...yeah I don't know what I was thinking on that one, 'cept she is one badass chick."

He reached down and grabbed one of her hands and held it tight. "Now babe, what was the real reason you told me today about the no gag reflex? Could it be that you want me as much as I want you and your were to afraid to tell be because of those stupid rules I made up so you would feel more comfortable around me?"

She nodded looking at her feet. "Hey Beautiful, look at me, my eyes are up here on my face and not on your shoes. I know I shouldn't have brought up the friends with benefits, coz babe that totally ain't you. So one question and I will let you get out of here if you want to go. Will you be my girl?"

She smiled shyly up at him with tears in her eyes and said "Yes Noah I would love to be your girl." She threw herself at him and gave him the biggest hug she could.

He gently cupped her face and rested his forehead against hers. "You know I am going to kiss you now right?" She nodded and smiled as his lips pressed against hers. She thought he really was the best kisser that she had ever had.

"B, you know we are going to talk more about the no gag reflex thing. Right?"

She sighed and said "Yes Noah I am aware...but not today."

The End...For Now


End file.
